"A man, without his word, is nothing."--Anon.
"Don't make excuses--make good."--Elbert Hubbard
Very often, it seems, I encounter decent and well-meaning human beings that do not keep their word. Yes, I've done it myself a few times (we all have); however, I take extra care in remaining accountable for the words I say and promises I make to others. I always come back to the person I originally spoke with and offer a sincere apology, making sure I full well own up to my own shortcoming in that instance. This topic has become a particularly strong pet peeve of mine over the years--maybe because I grew up with a dad who often broke his promises--and it shows no signs of waning. In fact, as I continue to go through life, I find myself developing even higher standards when it comes to people keeping their words. I know my Sicilian great grandfather was known to say a variation of the first quote listed above, and I have taken it to heart ever since my grandmother shared it with me when I was a child.
It takes consistency and integrity to own up to one's mistakes, and I do not take it lightly whenever I happen to "drop the ball", so to speak, and do not keep my word. I also expect others to provide the same respect and courtesy to me whenever they drop the ball. As a business owner, I have no idea how others can effectively conduct business in a fashion that allows for not keeping one's word. Perhaps many people would rather be polite and not speak up whenever they encounter someone who does not follow through and do what they said they would do for fear of consequences or repercussions resulting from potentially calling someone out. Maybe those who don't end up keeping their words don't realize their mistakes--or simply don't care. I'd like to think better of people, even when it seems difficult to do so.
It's important for me to clarify here that my point is not that people always accomplish every task they set out to do (obviously, this may not be possible). My point relates back to the overall purpose of my blog: communication. Are you keeping the lines of communication open to those you have made promises to and/or given your word? Going back to my comment about politeness, I believe that effective and appropriate communication allows for owning our feeling whenever we feel slighted or overlooked by others who gave us their word. Being polite has its place in more formal settings; however, once private discussion can occur, more candid communication can then take place. Resentment for past irritations can build up and become toxins that pollute an otherwise positive and strong relationship, which is why it's so important to be honest about negative feelings as they come up--rather than ignore them or save them all up to deal with at a later time.
I recommend calling upon your own consistency and integrity in everything you say you will do for someone else. If you find yourself unable to do the thing you said you would do, find the next available moment to communicate to the person how sorry you are (and mean it) and offer to make good on your word. Don't make excuses. Don't blame someone else. Own up to what happened, consider how you would feel if the tables were turned (as they may someday be with someone else), apologize, ask for forgiveness, and move on.
When someone doesn't keep his or her word to you, be patient. If an apology is offered to you, remember what it feels like to be in a position of having to go back on your own word. Honestly communicate your disappointment to the person offering the apology and do what you believe is best when it comes to forgiveness. If someone is always letting you down, maybe it's time to talk about the bigger picture and whatever else might be going on that continues to lead to the repeated let downs. Maybe it's a perfect opportunity to express your forgiveness. It all depends on the specific people and circumstances.
Being part of a civilized society, keeping one's word is an obvious way to show one's civility and common courtesy. It's also a wonderful way of maintaining effective communication and strengthening relationships. Thank you for reading.
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