Choices

"Everything in your life is a reflection of a choice you have made. If you want a different result, make a different choice." --Unknown

     Believe it or not, just about every single moment we experience in our lives (especially once we reach adulthood) is the result of a choice we have made. This might seem like an extreme position to take for some, but the more I’ve been thinking about it (which has been quite often over the past year), the more I realize just how much power we actually have to affect our own lives. It might very well seem at times as if the “powers that be” (institutions, other people, life circumstances) have a direct influence on our existence; however, I’d like to make the case today that this perspective is merely an illusion.

     Everything that happens to us (from cataclysmic events, personal issues, and daily struggles) can be traced back to a choice. I’ll use some examples from my own life to support my claim:

     Cataclysmic Event: I experienced the October 17, 1989 earthquake while living in San Jose, CA with my family. I was only 10 years old at the time, yet I remember the event vividly. Knowing very well that the area in which I lived was susceptible to earthquakes, I have chosen to continue living in the Bay Area of California for the time being. When and if another large earthquake occurs, I will understand that I chose to live in this “earthquake prone” area, and I will have to accept the consequences of my choice. No, I will never believe myself to be an ‘earthquake victim’--no matter what may happen to me as a result of a future quake. I choose to remain optimistic about this situation anyway...

     Personal Issue: I recently undertook the opportunity to walk for 45 minutes to an hour every single day since the end of July 2012. Essentially, I chose to begin this exercise routine to lose excess weight and feel better overall. So far, I do feel better, and weight is beginning to come off very (agonizingly) slowly. When I’m out there walking each day (this could very well fall under the category of “Daily Struggle” too), I don’t always enjoy every second of it. Sometimes I even grumble to myself about how “unfair” it is that I “have” to do this at all. “Why couldn’t I be naturally thin and fit?”. First off, I don’t ‘have’ to walk--I ‘want’ to walk. Second, my needing to walk excess weight off can be traced back to other choices I made in the past (to eat more than I needed to during multiple meals because I enjoy food and its many enticing flavors). I never had to eat more than I needed to--I chose to. Can you see how patterns of choices can influence the lives we (choose) to lead?

     Daily Struggle: I seem to have always struggled with getting enough sleep ever since I was a child. As a lifelong “night owl”, I’ve always fallen easily into the habit of staying up late and sleeping late into the morning. Do I like this habit? Not always. In fact, as much as I enjoy sleeping in, I always tend to feel guilty when I do it--as if it’s “not appropriate” and I should be using the time I sleep in to get more things done and accomplished. It’s difficult for me to relish the satisfaction of sleeping in wholeheartedly. The guilt feelings don’t necessarily come from anyone but myself. Nobody gets on my case for sleeping in but me. But this part of my struggle is beside the point. Being a ‘night owl’, I have to discipline myself to go to bed earlier than I usually like to during the week in order to get enough rest for work. For the most part, I succeed fairly well in this endeavor, but there are quite a few evenings when I get to bed later than I would like. This creates annoyance inside of me, but the reasons that I don’t get to bed when I want to can always be traced back to choices I made earlier in the evening (maybe I chose to stay online longer than I intended--which often happens, or maybe I chose to watch an additional TV show when I could’ve been getting ready for bed, etc.). No matter what the reason, I have no one to blame but myself. Even if I had children to take care of, I would still be making choices regarding balancing their care with my own need for sleep. When I get caught up in a conversation with my husband instead of getting ready for bed, I am making choices regarding caring for my marital relationship over getting enough sleep--the two are both important to me, but sometimes one becomes more important than the other. I try to balance my needs with the needs of others, and it's an ongoing challenge--but a necessary one.

   These examples above illustrate the notion of how I can trace events back to choice: I would have chosen to have children, and I did choose to get married. Do you see where I’m going with this perspective of choices here...? I can even trace my choices further back: I chose to work in the job I do, and I am accountable for working the hours my job requires. Thus, I must make sure that I make choices that will allow me to get enough rest and do my job well. It always goes back to choices and accountability.

     I challenge you to look at everything going on in your life that is currently going well (and not-so-well) and trace these events back to choices you made in your life. You might surprise yourself (or you may not), but my goal is to help you better understand the power you actually wield in your life. When a choice gets you into a situation that you may not want to continue going through, making a different choice has the potential to get you out of that situation. It’s the process of becoming accountable for your own choices that’s the issue here. Yes, things will happen that you do not necessarily foresee or directly control, but you can always control how you respond in these situations--with your choices. I encourage you to choose your responses wisely.